Jazz Odyssey

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An unexpected and stunning development has raised the hopes of the struggling music industry. In a landmark strategic decision today, all 4 major labels have announced a deal to distribute content freely through a new P2P company.

The new P2P software system, Shyster, works by taking the currently centralized royalty accounting systems at all the major labels and distributing the details amongst millions of connected computers, utterly obfuscating previous paper trails and making audits by artists impossible.

"We’ve always been strong believers in the practicalities of P2P as a distribution system." said Oscar Goldman, spokesman for the newly formed Shyster Unlimited Corporation. The former head of OSI went on to say "The benefits to all parties is undeniable. Labels can jettison hundreds of redundant accounting positions and artists no longer have to engage in costly and time consuming royalty audits as the Shyster system makes such audits impossible."

Label executives were quick to not understand the technology. "For the last 4 years, I’ve been rebooting by shaking my computer over my head" said an unnamed executive. "I thought I was using a laptop but my intern today informed me that it’s only an Etch-a-Sketch. Still, a new technology that isn’t allowing consumer piracy is a welcome breath of fresh air. I’ll just ask my kids how it works."

Don Henley was eager to form a new coalition of artists opposing the new software, and was quickly joined by Vanilla Ice, Yngwie Malmsteen, and that guy with the big afro from the back of the first Boston album. "The four majors are clearly an axis of evil." said Henley. "Since I can longer longer quantify how I’m being screwed, I’m gonna have to raise the ticket prices for the cheap seats on our upcoming Absolutely Final Shalom Tour to $11,000 each. I guess we’ll just make up the rest in merch sales."